A new journey of awakenings :-)

I have begun to put together my travel blog from the Philippines. I wrote in my travel journal every day while I was there, visiting my pen-pal, now sister/friend!!!  Here are the links to those pages:

Our story and arrival in the Philipines.  

Celebrating  

Following the signs

Walkabout with a very, short, bodyguard

Just Keep Moving! 

Fairest of them all?!

Giuan, a Pilgrimage

A little of this, a little of that

Conspiring to give you everything you dreamed

Poetic Space

Last night...

Tacloban

Heading Home

Final Thoughts

More to come! I am only a third through the journey. :-)

Clay time :-)

How do you build a giant bookshelf into a house? I do not know but I am giving it a good try. lol Today I used wire mesh, paper clay, Das clay and an off brand all of which dry in the air without cooking the material - and I created a giant tree like structure. Here is my foundation:

I started covering it with clay prior to placing inside the structure but soon realized that was a not a good idea. Making sure I was not inhibiting any potential lighting areas I molded it into the space. Then I covered it with clay!

Once the clay is dry I have some wooden shelves to add to the book case, and then I can work on the lighting!!!  Look at what arrived in the mail yesterday!!

Tomorrow I figure out how to, and where to place the lighting... Oh, after I begin my thesis paper for my art class. :-) 

Stay tuned!! 

new journey :-) lets talk sub culture!!

This is the first stage of my new project. I am working on a physical representation of home and how we, as beings living inside of homes, assign emotion and meaning to physical objects. I hope to bring into the light how we all have certain items that make up our "home" and that without them, our space would seem less like a home. Even if all of our belongings were to be lost in a fire, flood or other unforeseen circumstance, we tend to find new objects that replace the other... It may never hold the same emotional label, but the memory of the lost object is reminded of each time we pick up the new object.

But first lets start with the physical representation of a home... the house itself!! I have been following a blog by Torisaur,  http://torisaur.blogspot.com. There are a couple of AMAZING tutorials!!!!  I am jumping in feet first! They were very eager to help me with my lighting questions!!!  :-)

I am going along with the clay like structure and will introduce wood into the theme of the home as it is beingbuilt. Here is the framing:

Look a door!!!

My new look... LOL

theses will be shelves!

my tree book shelf outline. It will extend up to the 2nd level and I shall put 2-3 more small bookshelves in!

My shelves for the bookshelf

Tomorrow we make a tree book shelf!!  SO EXCITED!!! And then I suppose I have to write a paper.... 

Learning to embrace the unknown

The voice in my head has been inundating me with the idea that I need to "walk". The other voice in my head is arguing with this line of thought one a daily basis!!!  Where do I walk "to"? What happens when I get "there"? What if I get lost???  There is some serious fear in the lost aspect... So lets think about that for a moment. What if I did get lost in my neighborhood? I know my way to the main roads... Maybe not if I traverse the woods but I am choosing where I head.... What if I go out and only get lost a little bit? Is that even possible? To go to the edge of what you know and go just a little further? I feel like a little kid letting go of moms hand in a crowd.

When I was 7 or 8 my Aunt Pat invited us to come "do the Puyallup" with her at the Washington state fair. We spent the day wandering around the fairgrounds which was ten times larger than our little country fair which only took about 20 minutes to walk around.. Okay maybe 25 minutes, but it was small. All day I kept begging my dad to get me some popcorn. I had everything else I wanted... but this one thing... I really, really wanted... Finally after what must have been at least 8 hours of bugging my dad finally got me some popcorn while mom was finding a carton of milk. I stuck tight to my dad for night had set in and I was nervous without my mother. I do not remember what happened first... I feel like when I go back there in my memory the rushing crowd spooked me and I knew something was not "right". Then I began to hear people screaming, and crying. My dad grabbed my hand, I grabbed my popcorn and we went to look for my mom who was coming at us and fighting the crowd going past us.

Once we were all reunited we made our way with the rest of the crowd. I began to cry... I was holding so tightly to my popcorn... I was not letting it go!!!  Finally I heard my dad say, "it was a tear gas canister". I of course had no idea what this was... He grabbed my popcorn and through it away, telling me it was not safe to eat... It was dark...I began to cry and became panicky... I no longer wanted to go on rides... I remember freaking out that we were carrying this "gas" on our car and my dad pulled over to wash the truck off before heading home... Once the light of the carwash was above the truck I looked over at the carnival and begged to go back... Back into the darkness once more... I was sure everything would be alright... I had hope that the tear gas was gone and there was no more boogeyman waiting to pounce upon me.

This has set me up for how I deal with darkness and fear. The crowd freaked out... I was taught that day to fear what is unknown. It is obvious a tear gas canister, a boogeyman, a small creature that lives in my wall and steals my breath as I sleep was constantly out to get me...

So how as an adult do I go out there again? How do I redefine for myself what the unknown holds? HOPE!!!! I shall begin again... walking.. wandering.. finding ways to get lost!! Hope remains supreme over my life and I have a new and interesting outlook on how to define it... Hope... eternal... what keeps us from succumbing totally to the dark... May you find it, always!!!

A new normal

They say that you are never given what you cannot handle... I feel very strongly this is a mis-quote. Surely we are given situations in life where we throw our hands up in the air and wave them around at something and give up, momentarily... But we soon realize that screaming and flailing our arms about is really not the best way to cope with stress. No, the saying should be, Even when you are given situations that you cannot handle, hang in there, stay the course, keep on walking, do not look back (unless you drop a $20 in the ground) and most importantly, be thankful for those that are walking the journey with you.

The past few years have been pretty high on the stress-o-meter. Between school, being a mom and helping to take care of my mother I am not quite sure how I have survived. It had to be the two trips to Ireland.... Yeah, that must of been it...

But this past year has especially been difficult on all of us. So in my second quarter of Grad school I was faced with an opportunity! What shall I create? When I first thought of the tapestry project I knew it held a sense of community. Tapestries have been the life-blood of my world for as long as I can remember. I never had a "woobie" that I carried around. But I have always had a blanket/throw/comforter that I love curling up into and losing myself to TV land... It becomes my cocoon. During my massage years I covered my window, walls and table with Celtic knot work tapestries. These represented my longing for Ireland and how I yearned to go there.

When I arrived at the idea of friendship bracelets, at first I was not sure where I wanted to take it. But after experiencing Marie Watt's "Engine" installation at the Tacoma Art Museum, I was inspired to do something with blankets. "Let's make a tapestry out of bracelet's" I thought.... Then I began to think, wow I would need a lot of bracelets for this project... So I sketched it out and decided I must have at least 400 bracelets to make it work. I quickly learned that I would need some serious help in that department. I put the call out to my friends and family on Facebook and the response was amazing!!!  20 people dedicated time and energy into helping me produce friendship bracelets. For those that needed string, I sent them a package of it in the post. :-) Out of the 20 who originally donated time, I have received 14 packages in the mail....

This is where I have to go back to the beginning of my blog today... It is within these times of trials and confusion that the universe reminds me just how lucky I am to have so many phenomenal people. I feel so surrounded by love and support by these wonderful bracelets I am receiving in the mail. Each one is so different from the others! For those that have invested time into this project, I appreciate you... I appreciate your energy and support at this time in my life and I am thankful we are walking this journey together... Thank you for instilling me with a sense of community during a time where I have felt very alone with my emotions and fear. And while I am weaving this tapestry this Saturday I will be sending each of you special prayers of gratitude and happiness... I love you!!!